Not a Game
by Kurosaki Juria
Summary: "No!" I flinched at his harsh tone, "No, I'm not going to sit here and wait for you to sort out your feelings. If you don't love me, just let me go…" He turned back to the bag he was packing and zipped it up. His side of the room was stark bare now. It looked lonely. I looked down, letting my hair hide my face. I didn't know what had gotten into my when I'd said all that.
1. Guardian Angel

**Hi guys! This is what I call a 'Flipped Story' What I mean by that is that the story is told from two POV's but both for the same event. I'm doing this with Roy and Ed. Ed's is called 'Guardian Angel' while Roy's is 'Be Happy' which I will post as soon as I finish typing it and editing it from the written draft(yes I hand write my stories before typing them up.) I was in a pretty sad mood when I wrote this flipped story so of course it's a Really sad. Though I call the Flipped Story as a whole 'Not a Game.' That really has nothing to do with the story except for in one way. The only way I think that the title actually means anything in the story is because of the struggles and wars both Ed and Roy have with their feelings in the flipped story. So yeah. Oh and I wanted you guys to tell me after reading them both, Which POV was sadder? Roy's or Ed's. I'll probably have Roy's side of the story up later today, so you won't have to wait to long. Thanks for reading guys!**

 **Kurosaki-Chan**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own FMA/FMAB, Arakawa-Sensei does. But I do own this sad story that I wrote at 2:00 AM when I couldn't sleep.**

 **Guardian Angel**

I knew Roy had sat on the bed when I felt the mattress dip under his weight.

"I'm sorry," He said hugging me from behind, burying his face into the crook of my neck.

"Whatever." I tried to concentrate on the book I was reading. I'd been ignoring him for a couple of days now, I'd started having unsure thoughts about our relationship.

"But I am," When I didn't respond he continued, "Please, tell me what's wrong… I love you."

"I-I-" I felt so confused, I didn't know how to respond to his words. I felt him tense up at my hesitation.  
"You do love me… Right?" His eyes showed hurt as he braced himself for my answer.

"I-I don't know anymore." He pulled away from me with a shocked look on his face, "I'm sorry." I whispered and his expression turned angry.

""What the hell Ed?!" He shouted, "Is that why you've been ignoring me?!" He exhaled loudly, "If you don't love me just say so! I'll go!" He pulled a suitcase from the closet roughly and began packing his things. I want a chance to explain that I didn't know.

"Roy, Roy wait." He whirled around to face me.

"No!" I flinched at his harsh tone, "No, I'm not going to sit here and wait for you to sort out your feelings. If you don't love me, just let me go…" He turned back to the bag he was packing and zipped it up. His side of the room was stark bare now. It looked lonely. I looked down, letting my hair hide my face. I didn't know what had gotten into me when I'd said all that. Why did I even do it? I watched him from where I sat on the bed, as he walked to the door. He was just about to open the door to leave when I shut my book with a slam, dropping it as I dashed to toward him. I wrapped my arms around his waist stopping him, and buried my face into his back.

"Don't go," I whispered desperately. He didn't look down at me when he spoke.

"Why? His voice was cold and angry, "Why should I stay?" I had suddenly realized, If he left, what would I do? I lived for him. If he was gone, how could I live?.

"Please," I whispered, "help me."

"Help you? With what? How to not fuck with other people's lives and screw around with their feelings?" he scoffed, "Sorry, can't help you with that one." I shook my head.

"No… That's not it…"

"Then what?" I realized that even if I told him he wouldn't care.

"N-Nothing… Don't worry about it." I told him, it didn't matter, not to him so why tell him? This was all my fault. I just hugged him tighter.

"Bullshit, just tell me Edward." He demanded his voice was still so cold. He still hadn't turned around. I guessed that it wouldn't hurt to tell him, I wasn't his problem anymore so he wouldn't really care anyway.

"I need- I mean needed you to help me stay alive." I felt him freeze and I suddenly realized I was still holding onto him, I remembered he didn't want me anymore. I let go of him and stepped away. "S-sorry," I murmured, "You can go." When I had let him go he spun around and faced me with a look of horrified shock.

"What do you mean by 'help you stay alive'?" He said, ignoring my farewell words. I looked down letting my hair hide my face and my tears.

"Nothing," I said in a low voice, "It doesn't matter." It wouldn't matter to him at least anyway.

"Roy please!" I said not caring for the fact that he wouldn't listen or do anything for me, "Just help me!" I fell to me knees. Tears streamed down my face, and I quickly tried to wipe them away, trying to not look pathetic and needy in front of him. Even if he did want to stay, he should leave anyway, he deserved someone so much better than me, and someone, anyone else deserved to be with him more than I ever would. He should stay with that person and forget about me. But I wouldn't stay either. ' _Maybe I'll do it later tonight,'_ I thought, ' _I still have half a bottle of sleeping pills left. If I take enough-'_ I snapped out of my thoughts when I heard Roy dropping his luggage and walk toward me.

"Dammit Ed," I heard him growl and braced myself for a blow. If he wanted to hit me, he could. I deserved it anyway. He dropped in front of me and pushed me down onto the floor kissing me roughly. Tears streamed down my face. He was teasing. And it hurt so much. I pulled away from him.

"Please," I begged him, "Don't tease me."

"Why would I do that?" He asked seemingly confused but I knew exactly why he would.

"Because, you want revenge for my rejecting you. I don't know why I said it, I love you. I know you don't want me anymore. I know it's all my fault so don't feel the need to have to show me what I don't have anymore. I love you. But I know you don't want me… So go be happy with someone else. Whatever makes you happy. You'll never see me again… I promise… Just don't tell me what I don't have anymore. I already know and it hurts enough." I yanked my hands from his grasp and covered my face with them, "Just go be happy." When I had promised that he'd never see me again I meant it. Twelve- no thirteen pills would make sure that I would die for sure. Then he could forget me and be happy. He gently pulled my hands away from my face and kissed both my cheeks then my forehead then my lips. Was this a game to him? Was this fun for him? I sobbed. If it made him happy though, he could use me, show me what I don't have one last time before he forgot about me. As long as it made him happy. He pulled back and cupped my face with his hands in an almost affectionate manner. It made me hurt but it was also comforting at the same time. I clutched his right hand. I knew it was false affection, but it felt nice all the same. When I couldn't cry anymore I laid under him limply. He kissed me again and I immediately pulled back.

"I said you wouldn't see me again, It hurts enough! Why do you have to make it hurt so much more?!" I looked up into his eyes, they were beautiful. Whoever became his would love his eyes. " I just want you to be happy," I cried, "Does hurting me make you happy?"

He spoke up after listening, "Ed-" But I interrupted him.

"Would it make you happy if I died?" I asked quietly and his eyes widened and another look of horrified shock passed over his face.

"No! Dammit Ed! Why are you doing this?! I love you! I don't want you to die. None of that will make me happy." He pinned my wrists down again and kissed me softly. "Don't cry anymore," He murmured in my ear, "I hate seeing you hurt." I nodded quietly. I'd let him think that he'd fooled me. He smiled and picked me up, carrying me back to our room. He laid me gently onto the bed though kissing me roughly. I kissed back though in a more submissive manner. He stripped me of my clothes. His hands trailed up and down my body and I could almost cry again, it felt like this all actually meant something. He prepped me and lathered himself with lube. It was amazing, even if it was fake. He kissed me and smiled.

"I love you," He said. It sounded almost genuine.

"I love you too," I whispered back. I truly meant it, I loved him with all my heart. I still do too. That was how he fell asleep that night. When I'd been absolutely sure that he was asleep, I crept out of his grasp and to the en suite. Opening the medicine cabinet I pulled out the half empty bottle of Melatonin. ' _Thirteen pills'_ I thought, ' _That's all I need'_ I found a paper and pen and scribbled a little note for Roy then poured myself a glass of water. I counted out thirteen pills. I took four pills till there were only two pills left. I swallowed those last two pills and set down the glass. I knocked my arm against the bottle and pills disseminated over the bathroom floor. Had it always been this hot in the bathroom? I sat on the cold floor of the bathroom leaning against the tub. My legs were bent and I sat there waiting for the 'medicine' to kick in. I clutched the note firmly in my right hand. I was so dizzy. ' _It's funny'_ I thoughts, ' _It must be midnight by now… That means it's the third of October today.'_ I was tired. I didn't think it would hurt if I just closed my eyes for a little while. I ended up falling asleep a few minutes after closing my eyes. I never did wake up.

I knew I had died but I could still see the bathroom I could still see me- no, my body, sitting on the floor leaning against the tub. My hand still held onto the note I'd written for Roy tightly.

Morning came and I heard Roy calling my name.

"Ed? Ed, where are you?" He opened the door to the bathroom and saw my body. "Ed why didn't yo-" He froze as he noticed the pills and bottle I'd accidentally scattered over the tile.

"Ed?" He said quietly, he kneeled in front of me. I could see him shaking. He noticed the note and took it from my hand. Unfolding it, he read my words.

' _I promised that you'd never have to see me again,_

 _Be happy._

 _I love you,_

 _~Edward._

His reaction made me regret my choices and showed me that my beliefs about his feelings for him had been wrong.

"Dammit! Dammit Edward" He screamed at nothing, "I told you I love you! What else did I have to do to make you believe me?!" He pulled my body into an embrace, stroking my hair gently as he cried. I cried with him. I had hurt him again. It was all my fault again...

News of my suicide spread around Amestris like wildfire, I had been the Hero of the People, many people knew who I was. Many rumours of why I had committed suicide popped up. I'd experienced too much trauma, PTSD the likes. But Roy and the rest never revealed the true reason, letting everyone think what they wanted to think. I was demoted from Major to sergeant in death. How you get demoted in death and why someone would do it didn't make sense to me. I deserved it nonetheless though. The funeral was quiet and one by one everyone left till it was just Roy standing in front of my grave.

"Foolish child," he had said. It was something he said whenever I did something stupid.

"But I'm your stupid child." I murmured though he couldn't hear me. It was what I always said back whenever he called me that.

A tear ran down his cheek and he looked up.

"It's a horrible day for rain," He murmured to himself. He set a bouquet of red roses on top of my grave and turned, pulling his hat down to hide his tears as he walked away.

5 YEARS LATER

I've kept on watching over him since my death. Two years after my death, he asked the lieutenant out. I was glad she could make him happy like I never could. Now they were married and had a three month old son they had named Edward. and though they didn't know yet, they had another on the way. That was something I could've never given him. Children. He never visited my grave but I didn't mind. It meant he had moved on and that made me happy. On the day that their son was born I made a quiet promise to watch over Roy and Riza and their children and then their children's children and down the line. It was the least I could do. I'd make sure they all stayed happy. I'd be the Mustang Family's guardian angel.

 **Guardian Angel**

 **So thanks for reading again guys! I hope you liked it and stay tuned for 'Be Happy'**

 **Love ya guys,**

 **Kurosaki-Chan**


	2. I've Moved!

Hello! I know I haven't been here for a while, but I've kind of moved on from . Now I spend more of my time on Wattpad and Ao3. I've continued posting and updating all of the stories from here to those sites and I have new ones on there too. So if you all wanted to see more of the stories I was posting on here or if you wanna see my new stories, there's the usernames to my Wattpad and Ao3 below so you know who I am.

Bai!

~Juria Kurosaki

I now reside on Wattpad

HeartOfFullmetal369

And Ao3

HeartOfFullmetal


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